My Solution to Frustration and Impatience - Solitude

This week I met with my two dear friends in our accountability group (see previous post) and talked about our need to let God deal with us in solitude. However, I neglected to follow my own advice. Today became a dark day for me today. A cloud of latent anger, hostility and restlessness was looming over me. I knew I had to run to God, but seemed to be able to find no quiet place to do it. My dh suggested I get out of the house. After some shopping and lunch on my own, no change. Every noise my kids made tried my patience. I wondered if I was prone to depression.

This happens every once in a while and, in hindsight, it is imperative that I let others know, but I often feel I can put it off, because there are just things that I should do. I fail to clearly express what I need because the routine must go on. Meanwhile, I hurt others with my impatience and lack of peace. The frustration builds until my body cannot rest, my calm is lost and I can find joy in nothing. A pain pierces the side of my head and I know I’ve let go of my self-control. I call it the spiritual flu. You can try to cure it with cover-ups like a shopping trip or a day to yourself, but the real cure is to run to the All-Sufficient One.

Sometimes He waits and I run a different direction, yet I know I am desperate for His presence. I need to act more quickly, recognize the symptoms earlier and communicate to my family that I need to reconnect with God in solitude, by myself, with no one around. I am reminded that scheduled solitude is the lifeline of my soul. Because I’d let myself get physically anxious, I began with exercise to get out my frustration and then was able to sit in the quiet and listen for God’s voice (of correction).

I’m not a person who neglects my Bible, so reading on a daily basis is not the only thing we need to stay spiritually healthy. We need the presence of God, the healing, energizing, peace-giving presence. I had to let it search me and address what was lurking inside so I could let it go. Our Father knows us so well. Within a few minutes, it was gone and I was free again. Sometimes, in spite of what we know about God, we need to just sit in His presence.

My peace was restored.

Today as I worked on scheduling academics for the new year, I also know that my alone time with my Father is the one thing that will make or break the whole tone of my home. “Seek first the kingdom of God and all these things will be added unto you.”